ADDICTED TO HIM 3 Page 3

  “Man, why the fuck you standing in the doorway like this?” Rashard snapped, as he walked up to me with my ice cream in his hands. I had been craving butter pecan ice cream all day long and my superman brought it to me. I snatched it from his hands and padded barefoot across my hardwood floors, heading to the kitchen. I grabbed a spoon and went back to sit on my couch and watch Grey’s Anatomy. “You need to stop coming to the door dressed like that,” Rashard said calmly, as he sat on the couch next to me.

  I looked down at my attire and knew instantly why he was upset. I had on a black tank top shirt with no bra and thongs. I was so use to walking around the Foxy Lady like this that I hardly ever realize when I’m dressed inappropriately. I really don’t see shit wrong with it, but oh well. “Ok Shard,” I said, as I scooped more ice cream into my mouth.

  I closed my eyes to savor the taste on my tongue as Rashard began to rub my belly. I’m 23 weeks now and I’ve finally started feeling his kicks. As he began to bounce around and bump into Rashard’s hand as he slid it across my barely visible belly, I fell in love. This is the man I want in my life. The caring, nurturing, loving Rashard. Not the one that come fuck me and leave when someone else calls Rashard.

  “We need to talk,” I said, as I rotated my body to face him. As much as I was enjoying the loving moment we were sharing, I needed to get to the bottom of things before I end up hurt. The mood noticeably shifted in the room and his body went stiff.

  “What’s up?” he asked, as he looked into my eyes. He had a slight frown on his face as he stared at me.

  “What are we doing?” I asked softly. My nerves jumped on edge immediately, as I waited for him to answer.

  “I’m trying to bond with my son and you’re fucking with me,” he said without breaking his stare. He hasn’t even blinked yet.

  “No, I’m not trying to fuck with you. I just don’t want to get hurt,” I explained. I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes. I silently cursed myself for being so emotional but this pregnancy has made me the meanest cry baby ever!

  “I’m not going to hurt you but let me break it down, so it can forever be broken. I’ve never lied to you. We ain’t together, so I don’t owe you shit. What we are doing is raising my son. I bought you a house away from the hood; it’s fully furnished and stocked with everything you will ever need. I bought you a car that can get you wherever you need to go; what more do you need?” he asked, as he looked at me. My tears fell at a rapid pace but they didn’t seem to have any type of effect on him as he continued to stare at me. I wiped my face over and over but the tears just wouldn’t stop coming.

  “Do you have to always be an asshole?” I asked with an attitude.

  “What you want me to do? Lie? You want me to sell you a dream about us being a happy family, getting married, and raising him in one household? Naw, I’m not doing that. My words may hurt right now but this pain is better than the pain the lies will make you feel later,” he said then shrugged his shoulders.

  “Fuck you!” I said because that’s the only thing I could say. He was right.

  I know I wanted to talk but I guess I was hoping for a different response. I want to know why I’m not good enough to have those things with him but I’m afraid of his answer. I scooped more ice cream in my mouth before I stood to my feet and walked away.

  “You can’t be stressing yourself out over shit you can’t change ma. I love my son and because you are his mother, I love you, but we ain’t gone be together,” Rashard said, as he wrapped his arms around me from behind and rubbed my stomach. I closed the freezer door and removed his hands then walked off.

  “I’m in love with you,” I said with my back to him, once I made it in my room. I knew he was behind me because I could smell his Gucci cologne.

  “You’re in love with what could be. You will get over it,” he said and walked away.

  I stood in the same spot with my back towards my room door until I heard the front door close. The flood gates opened and tears were, once again, pouring out of my eyes. I dropped down to my knees and wrapped my arms around my body, as I continued to cry and rock.

  Tamia

  How dare Rashard have the audacity to ask me if I’m fucking Brandon! What the fuck kind of shit is that? I felt insulted. I can NOT believe he would think that I would have done that. I know a lot of females fuck whoever they want and whenever they want, without a care in the world. I’m not knocking them but that’s not me. That never has been me! Hell, Rashard and I were dating for months before the accident and he hadn’t even fucked me, so why would he think I had fucked someone else in the three weeks that he has been out!

  I stormed out of the house for two reasons. The first reason is because I had just said something that I didn’t mean. I would love for us to keep dating and make it together. The second reason is because I was really close to fucking him up. Knowing that he’s been in a coma for three weeks and won’t have any strength to fight me off is why I walked away. I’ll never kick a man while he’s down.

  “Leaving so soon?” Doc asked, as I raced by him.

  “Fuck him!” I said, as I continued to walk.

  “He must have told her,” I heard Doc say but I had no idea what he was talking about, so I continued to walk outside to Candy’s truck. As I stood outside her truck, I decided to finally reply back to Brandon’s text messages.

  Brandon: i cnt believe u ditched me fo dat nigga

  Brandon: will i c u later?

  Brandon: so i guess u gne ignore me cuz he right thea

  Tamia: don’t

  Brandon: don’t what?

  Tamia: im not in the mood for this bullshit right now

  After I sent the last text message, I shut my phone off. I can’t believe Brandon is acting like a bitch right now. Funny thing is, they are both worried about the other one when they should only be worried about me. I’m single, so technically, I can date who the fuck ever I want but I ain’t on no shit like that. All I want to do is graduate with honors and receive my degree then land an awesome job. I just want to have a normal life where my best friend isn’t kidnapped and someone isn’t trying to kill me. I guess that’s just wishful thinking.

  My thoughts began to shift to Armani because I still hadn’t seen or talked to her since before she got kidnapped. Now that the world is free of Steve, we can live peacefully without looking over our shoulders. “Damn, I miss her retarded ass,” I said out loud to myself. Armani and I were inseparable back in the day and I still don’t know what drove us apart. What did I ever do to her to make her hurt me?

  “You good?” Candy asked, as she strolled out of Doc’s house. She had a slight frown on her face, so I’m sure she’s upset and just trying not to show it.

  “This was not at all the reunion I envisioned,” I responded.

  She used the remote to unlock her doors so I hopped in. “Hopefully, it gets better. If not, just remember to always do what makes Tamia happy; no matter how it makes others feel,” she said. I had a feeling her words had way more meaning behind them than she was letting on. I shook the feeling I had and focused on my nails, which needed a desperate fill in.

  “How about we go to the nail salon?” I suggested. When I glanced over at Candy, she was inspecting her nails in the same manner I had just done.

  “Let’s do it,” she said, as her phone started to ring. We both glanced at it at the same time and saw Twan flash across the screen. She hit a button on her steering wheel to take the call.

  “This is Candy,” she said in an annoyed tone.

  “Where you been baby? I’ve been looking for you,” his voice boomed through the speakers.

  Candy reached over and turned the radio down as she sighed dramatically. “Around. What do you need?” she asked, as she continued to drive. I stared out the window and pretended as if I wasn’t listening.

  “I need you baby. I just ran into ya boy,” he said then paused. “Nigga was in the grocery store buying ice cream,” he said with a laugh. Candy laughed n
ervously but I don’t know why she was nervous about Deuce buying ice cream.

  “Well ok, I’ll hit you up later,” Candy said and hit a button on the steering wheel to disconnect the call.

  When I glanced over at her, she had this spaced out look in her eyes, like she wasn’t really here with me right now. Whatever she’s going through is really taking a toll on her. “Candy, you know I’m your friend right and I love you,” I said, as I looked at her. She nodded her head but didn’t take her eyes off the road. “You have been there for me since I met you and I just want you to know, whenever you’re ready to talk, I’m here,” I said, just to let it be known that she can count on me the same way I can count on her. She nodded her head then turned into Angelic Nail & Bar.

  I hopped out of her truck as fast as I could in true thirsty lady like fashion! Ha! This is the first nail salon I’d ever been to that serves liquor. As soon as we walked in and told them what we were getting, we were handed a glass of mimosa. We both sat down next to each other in massage chairs as we soaked our feet. Two Asian ladies came over and poured bath beads inside the water, giving it a silky feeling.

  I pulled my phone out and powered it back on just as Michelle and her cousin came strolling in. I watched them like a hawk as they told the greeter what they were getting and had a seat in the waiting area. “Candy, I thought everybody get a drink when they come in,” I said.

  “Girl no! You have to be spending at least $30 to get a drink,” she said, as I looked over at them again.

  “Mmmmhhh,” was my response.

  My phone vibrating in my hand caught my attention. It was vibrating so long, I thought it was ringing. When I glanced down at it, my text messages were doing numbers! I waited until it stopped vibrating and sighed heavily when I saw they were all from Brandon. “What’s wrong?” Candy asked with her eyes closed. I could tell she was enjoying her massage and I was so caught up in my phone that I didn’t realize I was getting mines.

  “Brandon’s buggin. He’s been buggin since I told him Rashard’s awake,” I said then felt someone looking at me. I looked up and looked directly at Michelle. Her and Tiffany were staring daggers at me. I smiled and winked at them, even though I was really aggravated at the moment. Shit, I was feeling like fuck Rashard at the moment but they didn’t need to know that.

  “Maybe it’s time to give him his walking papers then, hell. Get you one of them lame guys everybody needs in their lives,” Candy said.

  I could still feel Michelle staring at me. “Hey Michelle. How are you doing sweetie? Do you need something?” I asked. I raised my voice so she could hear me.

  “Tamia! Chill out!” Candy said, as she laughed and shook her head at me.

  “Hey,” Michelle said as she waved. “No, shut up hell!” Michelle said. I looked at her crazy because I didn’t even see Tiffany’s mouth moved.

  “Did you see that?” I asked Candy.

  “No, what?” Candy asked, as she looked up from her phone.

  “Nothing,” I said because she won’t believe me any damn way.

  I checked the time on the clock on the wall and it was nearing 2pm. I have to be at work at 7 tonight and I don’t get off until 7 tomorrow morning. The closer I get to graduating, the more they throw me on the schedule. I could have kept last week my last day but I really want to land a job there once I graduate.

  After our nails and toes were done, we headed out the door. Michelle and Tiffany had both gotten their toes polished and left long ago. “Where to?” Candy asked, as she cranked her truck.

  “Home. I work tonight,” I said, as I powered my phone back.

  Candy and I talked about Brandon and those messages he sent me all the way home. Candy said he’s crazy and that I should leave him alone, but I think he just doesn’t know how to handle emotions. His messages ranged from apologizing about how he came at me earlier to cursing me out, back to apologizing, and back and forth until he finally stopped texting altogether.

  We pulled up to Candy’s house and I hopped straight in the shower and went to bed, so I’d be energized at work. When I woke up, it was 6pm so I got dressed, brushed my teeth, and pulled my hair into a tight ponytail. I wore my purple scrub pants with the matching Scooby Doo top. I topped it off with my all white classic Reebok shoes. You absolutely cannot go wrong with those.

  When I got to work, we were so busy. I was stationed in the ER as a diversified technician and they ran me half past dead. We were so busy, the charge nurse, Amanda, had to stop me and tell me to go take a break. By that time, it was already 4:30am so when I returned from my break, I only had 2 hours left. I worked those with a breeze and headed back home to go to sleep.

  Candy

  *** Graduation Day ***

  I woke up bright and early because I agreed to do Tamia’s hair the day of her graduation. She had been working like a slave at the hospital and didn’t want to spend her free time in a hair shop all day. I pulled a chair out and set everything up before I went to her room to wake her up. You would think she’d be so excited she couldn’t sleep, but she just worked four twelve hour overnight shifts in a row. Yesterday was her first off day but we were at her old apartment cleaning it out. She’s been staying with me so long, I thought she had given her notice to the apartment manager but she and Armani had already paid the lease up, so all of their things had just been sitting there.

  It took us from 8am until 6pm to move everything out of it and sell all of the furniture, then clean it out. When we made it back home, Tamia took a shower and I hadn’t heard a peep out of her since. I walked in her room as I knocked on her door and couldn’t help but laugh at her. She was hanging upside down, halfway off the bed. I had no idea how she hadn’t fell.

  I grabbed her shoulders and tossed her on the bed. This crazy ass girl jumped up swinging. She almost got me good too but I ducked and jumped back. “Oh shit, I’m sorry Candy!” she said, once she got her bearings together. “I had been waking up throughout the night thinking somebody was in here with me,” she explained.

  “It’s cool, but only because you didn’t connect. I’m too fast,” I said with a laugh. Now, had she connected, we would have been in here fighting. I don’t care how crazy her little ass is.

  “C’mon, so I can do your hair. Oh yea, Rashard wants you to meet his mama today,” I said, as I stared at her intently. They hadn’t talked since the day at Doc’s house almost two weeks ago. He hadn’t contacted her and she hadn’t contacted him. The difference is he’s been asking me about her, but she’s just been focusing on herself. I was too proud of my girl for not folding and hitting Rashard up but I’ve been even more proud of her for cutting Brandon off.

  “I’m not up for meeting his family. For what?” she asked, as I walked out of her room.

  “Get up and c’mon woman!” I yelled over my shoulder. About fifteen minutes later, she came walking out of her room still wearing her pajamas. “Bitch, it took you fifteen minutes to get out of bed?” I asked because I don’t see a difference.

  “Naw bih! I pissed and brushed my teeth,” she said as she sat down in my chair.

  “So, I created a Facebook page, right,” she said, which was news to me. She’s never been one to dwindle in social media. Hell, she found out about Lisa being pregnant through Facebook but not through her own.

  “What made you do that?” I asked but she shrugged her shoulders in response. She flipped through her photo albums and showed me all of the pictures she has posted so far and I can tell she’s loving Facebook already but something seems off.

  “So, what’s the problem?” I asked.

  “Chardae sent me a friend request,” she said and turned to look at me. I had to fix my face because anger quickly set it when she said that.

  “What the hell? Girl, don’t worry about that hoe,” I said, as I began to braid her hair for the sew in I was about to slay.

  About two hours later, I was done and my bitch’s hair was on fleek! Hell, she could throw her gown on over her pajamas and st
ill be on point. I made her lay across the couch and plucked her eyebrows then beat her face. She took a selfie and posted it immediately on Facebook.

  My phone started ringing and it distracted me from the Facebook junkie on my couch. I walked off to go get it and was surprised to see Brandon’s name flashing across my screen. “Hello?” I answered the phone.

  “You told her to stop talking to me,” he said, as more of a statement than question.

  “No,” I said. “Tamia’s grown; she does what she want,” I said because he hadn’t said anything.

  “Hook us back up,” he demanded.

  “Man, I ain’t getting in ya’ll bullshit,” I said with my face balled up in anger.

  “You looking good Candy. You walk around with a crop top and booty shorts on all the time?” he asked. I could feel my heart beating harder in my chest as I looked around my room. “Tell Tamia it’s not safe how wild she sleeps. She almost fell out the bed like four times last night,” he continued. I could feel a lump form in my throat and the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. Panic set in once I realized he had been inside without either of us knowing it.

  “Candy!” he called out in a raspy tone. I wanted to answer him but my voice was caught in my throat. “I know you’re there Candy; I can hear you breathing. Hook us up or else,” he said then hung the phone up. I immediately called Deuce but he didn’t answer the phone for me. That was something he had been doing more and more lately, ignoring my calls.